he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
