Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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