somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
