You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
