just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
