im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
