I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
