dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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