I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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