I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize