I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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