Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
