How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
