but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize