I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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