I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize