good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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