One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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