that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
