it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I think people are normalizing furries
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
The adults are the big ones right?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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