i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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