why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
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