Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
