is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
