My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
