I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Randomize
