Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Randomize
