Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
