When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
