I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
