I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
God I need to hump something, right now.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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