If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
