UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I think a kid would responsible me up
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
So much Jack, so little girl.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
