help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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