Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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