you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
