I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Randomize
