If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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