I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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