Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
