I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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