Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I am mentally ready for anal.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
