Me too!
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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