I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
