i would punch a child for taco bell
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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