The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
