He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
