do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
