next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
