I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
