somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
