Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
