he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
