im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
