Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
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