so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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