My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
