We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
