We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
