he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
