hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
