dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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