you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
