Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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