We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
