Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
