I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
