i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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