ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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