honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
