I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
