i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
