i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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