you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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