Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
