After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
