I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
