there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
